Do
you panic when you know you have to go to a party? Does giving a speech
or presentation leaves you breathless and worried? Do you assume people
will not like you or even worse, completely ignore your presence?
If
you feel you are shy and introverted, do you want some tips on becoming
more confident? If so, keep reading because this was written for anyone
who has ever felt ill at ease on entering a room full of strangers.
Stress
is Helpful in Some Instances
Feeling
some stress or anxiety is natural in situations where you do not know
what to expect. It is a good warning system that tells us to be alert
for danger. But, the real danger comes from within when we allow our
thoughts to become larger than real life.
Are
you denying yourself the pleasure of meeting new people, because of your
fears and imagined unhappy encounters? If social anxiety is making you
sick and isolated, then it is time to change the behavior.
Shyness
is a Behavior not a Feeling
Many
shy and lonely people assume that they are the way they are because that
is the way they were born. They assume that some people have self
confidence and an air of positive well being and they just missed having
that part in their personality.
Uncomfortable
social situations must thus be avoided at all costs, reinforcing the
erroneous belief system about learning new skills.
Shyness
is not a feeling. It is a behavior and behaviors can be changed.
Behaviors are like skills and skills can be learned. Playing the piano
is a skill. Some people will always have an easier time learning, but
they still need to know the fundamentals and practice in order to become
proficient. Confidence is a skill. Non verbal body language is a skill.
Assertive behavior which recognizes the boundaries of others is a skill.
Confidence
is a Life Skill
Even
if you tend to see the negative or look at life with pessimistic eyes,
it is possible to change your viewpoint. Becoming an encouraging person
with an attitude of gratitude is a skill and takes work and practice.
It
takes a process similar to improving any other skill you have conquered
in your life. Think back on when you learned to ride a bike, play an
instrument or speak a foreign language. Think about how you or a child
you know learned to play the piano.
In
Order to Learn any Skill You Must Have a Deep Desire to:
-
Be
aware and clear in your mind of the advantages in learning something
new and incorporating it into your life.
-
Ask
to be mentored or taught by someone you trust.
-
Learn
the basics and don't expect perfection right away.
-
Expect
some setbacks and don't become discouraged.
-
Set
up a plan of action with small steps in order to reach the ultimate
goal.
-
Focus
on effort and use self encouragement.
-
Move
forward and do something every day to keep moving forward.
-
Enjoy
the skill as it becomes automatic action and enhances your life.
Everyone
Would like to be a Pianist, but Not Very Many People like to Practice
If
you would like assistance in overcoming social anxiety and
shyness, I
encourage you to check out my new book, Building
Self-Confidence with Encouraging Words.
Thanks
for joining our community of caring parents, family members,
coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a
generation of responsible adults
