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The Artichoke Recipe Book
Good cooks know the freshest artichokes have squeaky leaves. Discover even more here. This book is filled with tips on picking the perfect artichoke, how to prepare them for cooking, and many absolutely scrumptious artichoke recipes, brought to you by Auntie Artichoke.
Hello from beautiful Montana,
As a global speaker and writer on family issues, I am frequently asked why I would have chosen an artichoke as my logo. What does parent education and artichokes have in common?
You will find the answers in other essays included in this little recipe, history and philosophy book.
In addition to the yummy treasures in the recipes, I want to share my enthusiasm for finding the heart of the story in the journey of life. My message focuses on Respect, Resilience and Responsibility, all qualities that the artichoke and those grow and eat them have.
Three Important Lessons
Part of my community volunteerism is hearing and recording end-of-life stories for Hospice.It is such an honor to share that space between worlds and gain from the wisdom of the dying.
According to a study done and my own experience, the three things most dying people regret are:
- They wish they would have risked more. My mother said she chose the known and the unknown would have been fine.How many people are intimidated by the artichoke and miss the delectable pleasure because they were too afraid to ask how to cook and eat them?
- They wish they would have reflected more. Just stopped along the way to think “Is this the kind of person I want to be? Is this really what I want to do with my life? What would make me happier?”
- They wish they would have contributed more. One man told me that he wished he would have shared his wisdom with his sons. Another said she wished they would have had more people over for dinner and not worried about the stained carpet.
You can be sure I always contribute one of these easy and delicious artichoke recipes when we attend a pot-luck or host a dinner party.
Removing The Outer, Revealing The Inner
As I learned these lessons, I removed some outer leaves of doubt and fear. When I dared to open my heart and really accept the pointy edges and the fuzzy parts, my life changed.
So much better in fact, I am amazed and grateful for the blessings and opportunities that have come to our lives.
Grow, Select, Cook & Eat With Gusto
It is my deepest with that you find that same peace and joy in your heart. And that you will learn more about how to grow, select and cook an artichoke.
And especially you will gain the confidence to eat with gusto the delicious meat on the artichoke leaves as you dig down to the heart. I wish you joy as you dip the meaty petal of this thistle into the best life has to offer you.
Bon Appetit
Hopefully, we will meet in person one day and share a cup of tea and exchange stories. Until then, please know that you are loved and appreciated.
Fondly,
Judy Helm Wright aka “Auntie Artichoke”
A wise woman with a global message
I Lost My Best Friend Today
I Lost My Best Friend Today
Dealing with the Loss of a Beloved Pet
By Judy H. Wright
The Heartfelt Collection of Stories That Pet Lovers, Parents, Veterinarians, And Animal Communicators Are All Talking About
Do you view your pet as a member of your family, your closest friend, and constant companion? Our pets help us to be better people. They bring us a level of love that can never be replaced any more than their personality can be replaced. If you or someone you care about has pets, there will be a tremendous sense of loss when that pet dies or has to be euthanized. I wonder if you can relate to some experiences I have had…
- Was the decision to euthanize your pet one of the hardest things you’ve ever done?
- Do you have an old or terminally ill pet who you cannot stand the thought of losing?
- Do you find yourself denying the inevitable or wondering how you will ever be able to handle the loss when they are gone?
“I Lost My Best Friend Today is a wonderful collection of personal stories, information, and quotations about the heartfelt subject of how deeply pets, and their passing, affect our lives. It touches a subject, which until recently, was not in mainstream consciousness. This wonderful book deals with the many and varied emotional aspects of the death and grieving process of our family pets. If you have loved and lost a pet, this book will aid you in your healing process. If you know someone who has loved and lost a pet, this book will help you to understand what he or she may be going through emotionally and mentally.”
- Patricia Skergan, D.C., Wholistic Chiropractic
- Is your child struggling to understand the death of their pet?
- Do you wish you could find the words to comfort a grieving friend or family member who lost a beloved pet, but you don’t know what to say to show your support without appearing to trivialize their pain?
- Did the loss of your animal best friend trigger unhappy memories or unresolved conflicts of loss from years ago?
- Did you find that you were more upset over losing a pet, than losing a parent or relative?
I know that pets are more than just animals… they are our closest friends, constant companions, and integral members of our family. Our family has always had pets who were important members of our “tribe.”
Our family has felt the depths of such a loss when we lost our family pet, a Cocker Spaniel named Taffy.
Taffy was a fence jumping, chicken chasing, stinky breathed, fur scratching, devoted member of our family. He held a special place in our heart, because he had saved our two-year-old son Andy’s life when he wandered off into the street.
One day while working in the house, I realized I could no longer hear giggles and barks coming from the yard. Running quickly I saw that both gates were still locked but both the baby and dog were both gone!
Panic stricken I looked all over our property and then started running up the block towards the busy street two blocks aw ay. Crying their names I heard a woman by the street yelling; “are you looking for a little blond haired boy and a blond haired dog?”
A woman who had rushed outside her business after seeing a small boy starting to go on the street and a dog trying to herd him back told us the story. She said that Taffy saved Andy’s life by continually getting in front of him so could not go forward into the speeding traffic. After the adventure, Taffy and Andy were inseparable and both of them spoiled rotten by the rest of the family.
Fast Forward to a Painful Family Decision…
Eventually the day came when, as a family, we agreed that Taffy could no longer go up and down stairs, was constantly incontinent and was in such pain that even patting her hurt her.
After a tearful goodbye from each of us, my husband Dwain, ever the strong silent hero of the group, wrapped her in a special blanket and took her to the vet for the final visit.
Our hearts were heavy that day. Our tears were plentiful. For once, the house was silent and everyone was grieving in their own unique and special way. Even Tiddles the cat was not his usual self.
But for all of us, Taffy was and is our hero. Not just because she jumped the fence to save Andy, but because she was an important and valuable member of our family. She not only brought protection, enjoyment, and companionship to all of us, but she also taught us about loyalty.
It was because of her examples of loyalty to us that we, individually and as a family group, have been more loyal friends and associates to others, human and animal.
I Lost My Best Friend Today – Dealing with the Loss of a Beloved Pet was a labor of love born from my desire to help other people who are struggling with this significant loss.
Every Chapter Of The eBook Has Something Special…
1. Loving, Losing, and Letting Go
2. What Having Pets Can Teach Us
3. Unexpected Loss of a Pet
4. When Cure Turns to Comfort Care
5. Having a Beloved Pet Euthanized
6. Grief is Natural
7. Expressing Our Pain
8. Guilt and Regret
9. Pet Loss and Children
10. Pet Loss and the Elderly or Homebound
11. Do Animals Grieve When a Companion Dies
12. Memorials, Tributes and Rituals to Remember
13. Do Animals Have Souls?
14. Expressing Sympathy to Others
15. How Sharing Stories Help Us Heal
- Enjoy the Printable Prayer that was written and shared by Rev. Ann Keeler Evans called Prayer on Losing Your Dog
- Read pet loss poems & quotes about losing a pet as well as words to say in terms of pet condolence
- Find resources to order pet loss sympathy cards, gifts and support groups for others who are also going through the loss of a family pet
- Gain an appreciation of alternative therapies for pets who are ill
- Discover others who will help you on the journey to recover from the grief you are experiencing
Click Here To Read More About This Incredible Book
The Healing Power of Stories MP3
The Healing Power of Stories
Enjoy Judy’s Downloadable MP3 Audio!
The ultimate illness faced by humanity is loneliness. We need to know that we matter to the world and that our lives and experiences have had value. This audio is packed not only with scientific evidence of the healing power of stories, but also with actual experiences in which the process of sharing has had life-or-death-changing impact.
People need to tell their stories as much as they need to breath or eat. Listening to each others stories is soul work. Learn the importance of telling and listening to stories as a form of healing and encouragement.
By listening to this audio you will:
- Learn how to listen actively to another
- Encourage others to open up
- Empower themselves and others to share stories
- Handle painful or angry reactions
- Respect and honor the stories that are shared
- Retain confidentiality
- Celebrate diversity
Audio length: 30 minutes
$8
Dealing with Grief and Loss MP3
Dealing with Grief and Loss
Enjoy Judy’s Downloadable MP3 Audio!
Judy will share some of the skills you can learn that will help you deal with pain and grief. Whether you have lost a loved one, are struggling over a broken relationship, or wish to help a friend deal with their own grief this audio is for you.
By listening to this audio you will:
- Learn that grief is a natural emotion and is okay to experience
- Become familiar with the stages of grief
- Learn skills to help you deal with grief and sadness more easily
- Learn to prepare yourself for times when loss is inevitable
- Learn how to explain death and loss to children
- Discover tools with the power to heal
This audio will give you the tools and skills that will make life more bearable during times of sadness or loss. This class will help you feel more at peace and more confident in your ability to get through hard times and assist others.
Audio Length: 48 minutes
$10
Making Friends: How to Make Friends and Build Relationships
Making Friends: How to Make Friends
and Build Relationships
“How do I teach my child social skills, when I don’t know how to make friends?”
“How do you have time to maintain a friendship when life is so busy with work and kids?”
These are just some of the questions that were asked by adult participants about their own lack of intimate friends at my parenting workshop on The Left Out Child-The Importance of Friendship. The evidence is overwhelming on why good peer relationships enhance the quality of life and learning for children as well as adults.
How adults manage social situations affects the way those children around them view human interaction. If you have meaningful relationships that add pleasure and joy to the quality of your life, they will see and want to have the same thing. When the extended circle of caring nurtures the individual, they will look for the similar qualities in their friends.
Friendship has been describes as the springboard to every other love. Communication and interaction skills learned with friends spill over into every other relationship in life. Those who have no friends also tend to have a diminished capacity for sustaining marriages, work and neighborhood relationships.
If your children are involved in extra-curricular activities, step up and invite the other families to share a pot luck meal before or after the game. Our son’s soccer team had a pasta meal before every game, rotating between houses of players and coaches. It allowed the families to form a bond of support and friendship that moved beyond the soccer field.
The best way I know to tackle social anxiety and make a friend is to be approachable and open to others. Non-verbal language is the communication of relationships and 55% of the emotional meaning of a message is expressed through body language. Another 38% is transmitted through the tone of our voice. Only 7% is actually expressed by words. Verbal language is the language of information, and may or may not be remembered. When you smile and look people in the eye, extend your hand and ask to be included, you will be. If you posture, facial tone and confidence, says “I like myself” others will like you too.
Making friends is a skill and skills can be learned. Like many life skills, they may not be easy, but they are simple and just need to be practiced until they become second nature. Yes, it can take time and effort on your part to build a network of people you can trust and care for and who will in turn be loyal and kind to you. It is well worth the effort for you and your children to find a support system to be with in the good times and the not so good times that accompany all of us in life..
Building and maintaining relationships will be one of the most rewarding projects of your life.
Setting Boundaries in Relationships
Setting Boundaries in Relationships
Setting personal boundaries are like identifying the gates in our invisible fence lines which protects the precious heart and soul inside our bodies. Many people look at boundaries as walls, but rather when we establish healthy boundaries it provides a way to distinguish what we choose to let in and let out. They form flexible gates, not stationary walls It is important to learn about setting healthy boundaries so we can make decisions about what is and what isn’t permissible in all relationships.
Boundaries are Valuable
All relationships work more harmoniously when the participants know what to expect and what is expected of them. Being kind, but firm when stating what you need from a relationship allows the other person to reciprocate. How other people act and think often has nothing to do with you, but rather with their own perceptions. You can only take care of yourself.
It doesn’t matter how elaborate the fencing and eloquent our statements are, if we don’t honor ourselves enough to draw the line and stick to it consistently. It is just as valuable to the other person that they learn how to be with you and what the guidelines are for the relationship.
Body Language and Tone of Voice
Verbal communication is the language of information and only 20 % is absorbed. Body language and tone of voice is the language of relationships and 80% is remembered. Make sure you appear confident and you speak with a neutral, calm and non-accusing tone when establishing your boundaries. Use “I” statements which reflect on how things affect you, rather than “you” statements which put people on the defensive.
4-Step Model for Setting Boundaries
1. Calmly inform the other person by stating, “I feel uncomfortable and want to shut down when you yell at me.”
2. Request that they honor your boundary. “I ask that you talk to me without yelling.” Or ..For me to listen and hear what you are saying to me, I need to you speak to me in a calm voice without yelling.
3. Insist that they honor your boundary, again with a firm but kind voice, “I insist that when we are talking we talk in calm voices.”
4. Leave the situation. Now is not the time or place to continue communicating with someone who refuses to respect your boundaries. Leave the door open to talk later in a more respectful manner. Continue to maintain a calm but firm voice and say, “I will not continue this conversation in this way. I welcome an opportunity to talk with you without yelling or screaming at another time. Let me know if you decide to visit without raised voices.”
Don’t Take it Personally
You can not assume responsibility for other people’s feelings, agendas or methods of communication. You can only state how you desire to be treated in life. If there are old patterns, it may take some time to convince others that you are serious about sticking to your boundaries. Everyone has the right to be treated with respect and courtesy.
People you know may be surprised at first when you tell them they have crossed the line, but will respect you more in the end. Hopefully, they will model this communication style and it will make for more honest and open relationships for all.
Giving Feedback to Increase Self-Esteem: Use Respect, Not Ridicule
Giving Feedback to Increase Self-Esteem:
Use Respect, Not RidiculeYour intention is to motivate a child or employee to do better. You are clear in your mind what you want to achieve and the behavior that you want changed. You expect to be listened to and obeyed! You are right and they are wrong. Someday, they will be grateful that you cared enough to show them what they were doing incorrectly.
Sound familiar? When a situation calls for feedback, we tend to justify our position and come at the situation from a power standpoint. This tends to put the other person in a defensive status and what may have started out as a visit turns into a confrontation, with words and emotions expressed that are not helpful. The ridicule will actually not accomplish what you had hoped and will harm the relationship.
Ridicule or Contempt
Ridiculing someone is to mock by reducing or dismissing them in a contemptuous way. Sometimes the ridicule may be verbal as in a criticism; “You just can’t get this through your thick head, can you?” The disrespect may be done in a completely non-verbal but powerful way; rolling your eyes, crossing your arms and leaning back, smirking or looking away when the other person is talking.
Non-Verbal Language
Verbal or spoken language is the communication of information. Most people only remember about 20% of what is said. Non verbal or body language is the communication of relationships. People look at your facial expressions to see how you really feel about what you are saying and the person you are saying it to. They listen to your tone of voice to gauge how sincere you are.
Respect and Acknowledge Unique Styles
Your child and you are going to make mistakes. You are human. That is just how life goes as we learn from experiences on what works for us and when we need to find another solution. We can make mistakes but still be competent, worthwhile and intelligent people.
No one is going to be perfect, and to only settle for perfection is to set yourself and your child up for failure. If your children have never seen you acknowledge that you screwed up or made a mistake, they will be hesitant to take risks.
Feedback or Criticism
You may be embarrassed to talk about your own mistakes and errors in judgment. That is natural to be hesitant to appear vulnerable but it is unfair to your child to feel that he or she is not reaching your expectations and is a disappointment to you.
Perhaps you can say something like; “I know that you feel badly about the grade. I have felt that way when I worked hard on a project and it didn’t go as well as I had planned. However, I found that the next time it went better for me when I wrote an agenda. What do you think might help you do better next time?
Respect and Tolerance Build Confidence and Self-Image
Thank you for doing this important work to build communication in relationships. Others value your input and suggestions and will want to do the best they can. But when mistakes happen, remember; mistakes are never final and we all make them. It is how we learn.
(c) Judy H. Wright http://www.ArtichokePress.com. You have permission to reprint this article in your blog, ezine or offline magazine as long as you keep the content and contact information intact. Thank You.
Artichoke Press is the home site of Judy H. Wright, family relationship coach and author. You will also find a full listing of free tele-classes and radio shows held each Thursday just for you. If your organization would like to schedule Auntie Artichoke, the storytelling trainer, for a workshop please call 406.549.9813.
You are also invited to visit http://www.DisciplineYesPunishNo.com for answers and suggestions if you are experiencing family problems that are deeper than a book or article can solve. This program will transform your family.
Thanks for joining our community of caring parents, family members, coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a generation of responsible adults.
Righting a Wrong Choice: Everybody and Everything Deserves a Second Chance
Righting a Wrong Choice:
Everybody and Everything Deserves a Second ChanceWhat do you do when you realize that you have made a mistake? Is there a way to make it right with the person who has been hurt? Is an apology enough? How can we be sure that we won’t make the same mistake again?
Here are some great tips to help you make a wrong choice into a right decision. Everyone and everything deserves a second chance.
1. Reflection: Take some time to think about the choice you made and what else you could have done. Assume responsibility for your choices, decisions and reactions; blaming, excuses or circumstances are not a reason to act inappropriately.
2. Recognize: Acknowledge that what you did was wrong, disrespectful or unkind. Recognize that even if you feel you were in the right, there are two sides to every story. Is there a way that everyone involved wins? Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. How does it feel?
3. Remorse: Remorse is a sincere feeling of sadness in your heart that it happened and you either knowingly or unknowingly hurt someone else. Be truly sorry and express it in an apology. People need to hear the words. You may need to ask for forgiveness.
4. Restitution: Try to make it better by returning, repairing or restoring, if possible. What do you think is fair? How could you restore a good relationship or trust?
5. Resolve: Resolve to make wiser choices in the future by thinking of options and the kind of person you want to be. Resolve to listen more closely to your moral compass or inner voice. You aren’t perfect and we all make mistakes, but resolve to try again and again and again if necessary. Mistakes are never final and be grateful we occasionally get “do-overs” in life.
6. Release: If you have done all you can to remedy the mistake, then let it go. Forgive yourself if you were in the wrong and forgive the other person if you feel they were responsible for hurting you. You can only be responsible for your own choices, reactions and feelings. Don’t carry guilt, grudges or anger forward in your life. It can make you sick, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Do what you can to remedy the situation and then allow it to flow away.
Everyone and everything deserves a second chance.
(c) Judy H. Wright http://www.ArtichokePress.com. You have permission to reprint this article in your blog, ezine or offline magazine as long as you keep the content and contact information intact. Thank You.
Artichoke Press is the home site of Judy H. Wright, family relationship coach and author. If your organization would like to schedule Auntie Artichoke, the storytelling trainer, for a workshop please call 406.549.9813.
You are also invited to visit our blog at http://www.AskAuntieArtichoke.com for answers and suggestions which will enhance your relationships. You will also find a full listing of free tele-classes and radio shows held each Thursday just for you.
Thanks for joining our community of caring parents, family members, coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a generation of responsible adults.
Communication Skills to Help You Stop Fighting: Conflict Resolution in Relationships
Communication Skills to Help You Stop Fighting:
Conflict Resolution in Relationships
When two people are just starting a relationship, they do their best to present only their best and most attractive attributes to the other party. For the relationship to continue to evolve both want to feel appreciated, admired, validated and wanted.
Next Level of Love
When the relationship proceeds to the next level, which is marriage or living together, new stresses are brought to bear and conflicts over possessions, space and personalities start to come out. The bloom is off the rose, so to speak. The day to day demands of life form a more accurate picture of the parties.
What was a cute little personality quirk when dating is an irritating thorn in the side of harmony when coupled. If his answer to any request is “soon.” the strain and resentment build up. This may cause a natural reaction of fight or flight in the partner who is left smelling the garbage that has not been removed.
Conflict Resolution
Each person has learned a method of handling conflict, usually by watching how their parents handled problems. Even if we were unhappy with their methods, we tend to model our own styles after a significant adult in our formative years. It takes effort to confront our behaviors and beliefs and change them to be more effective.
Many people consider conflict a necessary part of life. It isn’t. It is possible to overcome past hurts and learn to success full problem solve immediate concerns. it is also possible to fix damage that has been done in the past and heal the relationship.
Collaborative and Cooperative Relationships
One of the main ways to stop the fight or flight and learn to communicate is breathe. Yes, I said breathe deeply for at least ten times before reacting to a stressful situation. this will signal your brain to slow down and choose your options. You can opt for a more collaborative and cooperative solution that does not damage the spirit of the other person or the relationship.
It may take some time, but like all skills, it get easier with practice. Soon it will become second nature and you will be living in a more peaceful, productive and loving relationship.
Social Anxiety: Afraid to Meet New People & Make Friends?
Social Anxiety:
Afraid to Meet New People & Make Friends?
Do you panic when you know you have to go to a party? Does giving a speech or presentation leaves you breathless and worried? Do you assume people will not like you or even worse, completely ignore your presence?
If you feel you are shy and introverted, do you want some tips on becoming more confident? If so, keep reading because this was written for anyone who has ever felt ill at ease on entering a room full of strangers.
Stress is Helpful in Some Instances
Feeling some stress or anxiety is natural in situations where you do not know what to expect. It is a good warning system that tells us to be alert for danger. But, the real danger comes from within when we allow our thoughts to become larger than real life.
Are you denying yourself the pleasure of meeting new people, because of your fears and imagined unhappy encounters? If social anxiety is making you sick and isolated, then it is time to change the behavior.
Shyness is a Behavior not a Feeling
Many shy and lonely people assume that they are the way they are because that is the way they were born. They assume that some people have self confidence and an air of positive well being and they just missed having that part in their personality.
Uncomfortable social situations must thus be avoided at all costs, reinforcing the erroneous belief system about learning new skills.
Shyness is not a feeling. It is a behavior and behaviors can be changed. Behaviors are like skills and skills can be learned. Playing the piano is a skill. Some people will always have an easier time learning, but they still need to know the fundamentals and practice in order to become proficient. Confidence is a skill. Non verbal body language is a skill. Assertive behavior which recognizes the boundaries of others is a skill.
Confidence is a Life Skill
Even if you tend to see the negative or look at life with pessimistic eyes, it is possible to change your viewpoint. Becoming an encouraging person with an attitude of gratitude is a skill and takes work and practice.
It takes a process similar to improving any other skill you have conquered in your life. Think back on when you learned to ride a bike, play an instrument or speak a foreign language. Think about how you or a child you know learned to play the piano.
In Order to Learn any Skill You Must Have a Deep Desire to:
- Be aware and clear in your mind of the advantages in learning something new and incorporating it into your life.
- Ask to be mentored or taught by someone you trust.
- Learn the basics and don’t expect perfection right away.
- Expect some setbacks and don’t become discouraged.
- Set up a plan of action with small steps in order to reach the ultimate goal.
- Focus on effort and use self encouragement.
- Move forward and do something every day to keep moving forward.
- Enjoy the skill as it becomes automatic action and enhances your life.
Everyone Would like to be a Pianist, but Not Very Many People like to Practice
If you would like assistance in overcoming social anxiety and shyness, I encourage you to check out my new book, Building Self-Confidence with Encouraging Words.
Thanks for joining our community of caring parents, family members, coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a generation of responsible adults
D5 Creation